Behind the Curtain

Setbacks, reflections, and the path forward.

IT’S very rare that I write in the first-person point of view. This phenomenon is very common in my general creative practices. As a photographer, I rarely turn the camera on myself. When I ran a podcast, I often tailored the episodes around the guests (and the listeners) and away from myself. And now, when I write, I try to keep the first-person narrative at bay. This trend is partially because I’ve always been a very reserved and private person. And as far as writing goes, I’ve sort of built up this narrative internally that in order to live up to the title of “journalist,” I have to train myself to write as professionally as I can, and at this stage for me, that means removing the first-person framing from the stories I cover.

But every now and then, some transparency is needed. People want to know who is behind the curtain. And that level of vulnerability can only be achieved in the writing format I’ve always resisted.

With Christmas wrapped and the New Year just around the corner, I’ve noticed a handful of people writing about what they’re grateful for, and the many reasons they have for celebrating this holiday season. I always take the time to read many of these entries. It’s always inspiring to peer, briefly, into other people’s lives, especially when you could use some motivation in yours.

This past year for me, for the most part, felt directionless even though I made lots of progress in my work as a photographer, and finally launched New Outlook after many years of flirting with the idea. I’ve always wanted a designated hub for my heterodox thoughts on politics, media, and culture; something that could allow me to transition my photography and journalism into a full-fledged independent operation, without relying on the propagandistic corporate news outlets I once naively dreamed of working for.

The year before was brutal—the final stretch of a long three-year bout that unscrupulous COVID policies personally dealt. I was more alone than I’d ever been. Maybe even a little (read: a lot) depressed. I’d lost my apartment of seven years, was having a really hard time getting over a breakup with someone I imagined I’d spend my life with, my strained relationship with my parents got even worse (much better now), and nothing exhilarating was happening on the job front, many thanks to hiring policies that mandated vaccinations among new hires. In one year, so much happened that I truly felt like I’d lived three years.

Many of these setbacks would never have occurred if not for the draconian policies and mandates these past four years enforced by corrupt politicians, so-called healthcare organizations, and downstream, by employers. I could write in more fine detail but I don’t feel it necessary to expound further. Just know that if I was anti-establishment prior to COVID, that feeling has naturally been amplified over the past several years. One thing is for sure though, I wouldn’t bend any of my principles to avoid going through it all again. There are costs to standing firm in your principles, and there are costs to abandoning your principles, or not having any to begin with. You must pick which costs you are willing to live with, rebuild, and rebound from.

I’m saying all of this to say that as challenging as these past few years have been, my decision to launch this Substack has brought more meaning to areas of my life than I could’ve imagined. It’s fueled my curiosity. It’s aligned me with like-minded and not-so-like-minded individuals. It’s broadened my scope as a writer, thinker, and communicator. It’s reawakened my pursuit of ethical, independent journalism, a thing many industry professionals I’ve met have scoffed at. It’s helped me discover an audience who’ve been encouraging and supportive as I grow comfortable with sharing my voice. And it’s seamlessly brought my disparate worlds of photography and independent journalism together, the potential soon to be fully realized.

I’m not keen on gifts, but this ranks up there among the best gifts I’ve ever received. I’ve spent years on the wrong social media platforms speaking into the abyss for my words to fall on deaf ears. On those platforms, nobody wants you speaking truthfully, or sharing your real worldviews as a dissident. They prefer platitudes, groupthink messaging, and virtue signaling. I’ve decided that I do not wish to partake in that manufactured world.

With that as a backdrop, it’s good to know that as much as corporate news outlets try to derail independent news media, the people still want it. They want to support it. And they want honest, intrepid information brokers at the helm who will step up to do the work no one in the mainstream is willing to do.

Things are already looking great for the New Year, and as far as New Outlook goes, the plan is to take the reporting up a notch, break stories, and get this operation firing on all cylinders, year round. I hope you’ll join me for the ride.

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